Sometimes when we get choked up by the dense smoke of uncertainty and completely lose out to the infiltrating fire of frustration; we want to examine all the minute details in the spectrum of our being and get rid of hazy thoughts that are floating around in our minds. There, actually, comes the precious moment in life when we decide to stop running in the wrong direction and ‘submit ourselves completely to the will of God.’ We then realize that dwelling among shipwrecked dreams and losing ourselves in pessimism cannot be a solution to trials; rather we ought to apprehend God’s plans to figure out how to escape the swamp of distress. Once we synchronize ourselves with God’s plans, our past, present and future get aligned too.

In fact, we human beings have very limited visions: every now and then, we get so fixated on our plans that we nearly forget that God's plans also exist. It needs a great deal of struggle and courage to give up our own wishes and submit ourselves thoroughly to the wishes of our Creator.

Meet Saima Wasif, a very courageous and inspirational lady. She is a homeopathic doctor, currently practicing in Pakistan. Let’s explore her shade of courage in this blog:

“It’s all about alignment: on one side there are God’s plans whereas on the other side there are our plans. The more we align ourselves with the will of God, we feel contented and peaceful, whereas the more we skew toward our own wishes and desires we feel frustrated and fall prey to anxiety,” says Saima.

I’d always wanted babies. I had this expectation of myself that after completing my studies, I would get married and have children. I reached my first two objectives quite easily, yet sadly, I could never reach my third objective. My longing to have children was very strong. I always desired to have my own children: so I would feel the love of a child for the rest of my life; I would be surrounded by family and I would leave a legacy on this planet.

There came a phase, when like many other women, I also felt a strong calling from deep within to become a mother. So many agonizing months of never getting the answer made me almost mad. So many doctor appointments we attended. We prayed a lot. Some friends and relatives insisted us to visit spiritual healers (Babas); we visited them too. My husband and I considered all options. But it never happened; this was definitely not in my life plan to stay without kids. Doctors could find no cause for infertility, regardless of lots of investigations we were told to just keep praying.

I was spinning around my own plans so blindly that I could not see and accept God’s plans.

Then came a time when I got completely exhausted. I prayed to God, bless me with child, but if it is not in my destiny, please take all pains, anxieties, frustrations, fears, emptiness, and melancholy away from my heart. Oh God! As you say in the Quran, “Indeed, Allah is with those who endure patiently”, and your Prophet ﷺ also said, “And whoever remains patient, Allah will make him patient. Nobody can be given a blessing better and greater than patience.” Gracious God! Please help me stay steadfast and patient; please always be with me, never at any point during this test let me fall prey to discontent and fears. Dear God! Open my eyes and make me feel grateful to you for all the blessings that you have bestowed upon me. Give me such eyes and heart that may consistently stay thankful to you, despite the absence of all those favors that you have not showered upon me.  Protect me from all sorts of pains and fears that are associated with childlessness. Never let me feel miserable; please fill my heart with enormous tranquility and gratitude. Hold me my God! I am very weak and you are the strongest. Hold me my God!

Now, whenever I contemplate I can see that my sole mistake during years of distress, was not believing that I'd be Okay – with or without kids. As I have submitted myself completely to the will of God, I have no regrets. I have strong faith in His plans; He says in the Qur’an, “The dominion of the heavens and the earth belongs to Allah. He creates whatever He pleases. He grants females to whomever He pleases and males to whomever He pleases, or grants them a mix of males and females, and causes whomever He pleases to be infertile. He is All-Knowing, All-Powerful.”

All frustration, uncertainty, confusion and anxiety have already vanished away; God has blessed me with incredible patience and now I can really see all the blessings around me. However, I do feel uncomfortable whenever I think about that time of grief when I was too caught up with my own desires; I was so busy chasing my wish that I erased a beautiful part of my life with the eraser of depression and fear; I neglected so many gifts of God around me. I don’t have great memories of that phase of my life now. Sadly, I was too obsessed about my own plans that I missed many opportunities to serve my God, friends and relatives during those years.

I strongly believe that we must not, at any time, forget that our Lord has created us solely for His worship. Unfortunately, most of the time, we forget about our Creator and the lights of this world obscure our vision to such degree that we begin running off course: toward our own desires. Every person is, indeed, being invigilated by our God for each agony and blessing, As Allah says in the Qur’an,

“And I have created not the heavens and the earth, and all that is between them, for mere play. I have created them not except with truth (i.e. to examine and test those who are obedient and those who are disobedient and then reward the obedient ones and punish the disobedient ones), but most of them know not.”

As far as legacy is concerned, I believe that no legacy is so rich as good deeds. A legacy is engraved into the minds and hearts of others and the tales they share about us. Nothing will last for good; just our good deeds will make our ways simpler for us in the life Hereafter.  We should be sufficiently able to see God’s plans: no doubt, this world is transitory and the real life begins after our demise.

Saima has left a strong impression on my mind; she has very strong faith. Through her personal example, she has demonstrated us the right way to handle uncertainty and fears associated with present and future.  Those women who think that a life without kids is an unfulfilled life just remember that your future self is somebody you have not met yet. Try not to know about her ahead of time. Likewise, accept yourself exactly as you are; remember self-pity is the most destructive and the worst possible emotion anyone can have. As far as the idea of completeness is concerned, nothing is complete except our God. Furthermore, do not assume that you can control every segment of your life; life is full of uncertainties and changes. It is good to make the best of every moment and stress not over “what is going to happen next". In short, stay happy and courageously embrace life as it unfolds before you.