Imran Khan’s ‘interview’ to Hamza Ali Abbasi discussed a breadth of topics ranging from accountability, education to the adverse impacts of colonisation. The duo discussed the effects of colonialism and Mr Khan lamented the fact that we have been trying to imitate the English people while a Jinnah portrait dressed in ‘English’ attire was hanging in the background. Mr Khan stressed the idea that we have been subjected to mental slavery by the West and that we must act to redeem ourselves. Mr Khan also stated that our family values and norms are something that should be cherished and preserved and imitation of West is destroying the same. Mr Khan specifically expressed concern over the rising divorce rate both in the West and South Asia and blamed adoption of Western immoral mannerisms for this trend. The irony of Mr Khan making this statement could not have been more obvious.
A sound family system undoubtedly has undoubtedly its virtues and has been serving the needs of mankind for centuries. However, Pakistan’s family system, which Mr Khan espouses, is far from the ideal. While there is no agreed upon definition or characteristic features of what would be called a ‘Pakistani family system’ whose strengths or shortcomings one could deliberate, one cannot escape the fact that appalling defects are conspicuous in the way families function all around us. Child marriage is still a menace that even strict legislation has not been able to curtail. Domestic violence is a usual occurrence and is, in fact, normalised in our society and culture. It is not confined to physical violence but includes emotional, psychological and economic violence as well. Every day one witnesses horrendous reports of killings and beatings of women by their close family members. Similarly, the number of reported honour killings has seen no reduction over the years and even necessary legal amendments have not deterred the people. All of these aforementioned crimes usually take place in intimate family settings and within the patriarchal family structure that Mr Khan has often praised and wants to preserve.
While it is not clear whether divorce rate is increasing by the numbers Mr Khan believes it to be, making the claims questionable, it may not be such a bad thing even if the claim is true. Why is divorce a bad thing, in and of itself? People can choose to divorce for a number of reasons including, but not limited to, getting out of an abusive or incompatible relationship. There is positive correlation between the increase in women independence which results into increase of their income and divorce rates. The reason for this trend is not imitation of the West or some other society since if that is the case; whom did the West imitate? The reason for this upward trend in divorces is women taking control of their lives and not being financially dependent on anyone. This self-dependency gives women the essential freedom to choose. Women who have the freedom to make choices exercise this freedom liberally to get out of abusive or incompatible marriages, causing an uptick in divorce rates.
Additionally, while the independence and financial success of women can increase their freedom to choose, it also requires adjustment of traditional gender roles in marriage. Family structure, even in the most egalitarian countries, remains obstinately patriarchal at its heart. Therefore, couples are bound to experience friction and stress when the success of a woman changes the distribution of social and economic roles in a marriage. A study carried out in Sweden, a country that tops in the gender equality index, revealed that success in the political and financial world significantly increases the divorce rate of women but not men. The study found that married women were twice as likely to be divorced three years after their promotion to CEO level compared to their male counterparts. Similarly, successful women politicians as mayors and parliamentarians also doubled their probability of splitting up while similar level of success did not have a similar impact on men. The reason for this trend has been that gender roles, especially in a family setting, have still not evolved and it is still unusual for men to be perceived to be in a ‘supportive’ role in a marriage.
To conclude, yes, divorce might have some bad impacts, especially on children, and one should be mindful of this. However, divorce should not be considered a taboo. If couples, for whatever reasons, think that they cannot maintain a harmonised and peaceful relationship, they should have the option to part their ways and give life a second chance. An ideal family system, though it may sound paradoxical, should be supportive of the idea of divorce and not frown upon it.