There is good news and there is bad news. The good news is that there is no bad news. The bad news is that there is no good news. This is not an article. I am not a writer. No reading is allowed beyond this point.

Imagine an organization. If one official in that organization retires and is replaced, will it be the same organization? If all of the officials of that organization are replaced one by one, will it be the same organization? If you then create a new organization in which you employ all the retired original employees, will it be the same organization?

Can the world’s best military create an enemy it cannot fight?

A barber is a man. If he shaves all the men who do not shave themselves, will he shave himself? How many men will a barber shave if he begins at nine in the morning, takes 15 minutes per shave, and his shop is blown up by Islamic militants just before the evening prayer?

What did the tortoise say to Achilles?

A group of citizens took over their capital and gave to their government a set of demands. They said they will not leave if they correctly guess what the government will do. What will the government do if they guess that the government will not accept their demands?

“I said in my alarm, ‘Every man is a liar!’ (Psalms 116:11) Is David telling the truth or is he lying? If it is true that every man is a liar, and David’s statement, “Every man is a liar” is true, then David also is lying; he, too, is a man. But if he, too, is lying, his statement: “Every man is a liar,” consequently is not true. Whatever way you turn the proposition, the conclusion is a contradiction. Since David himself is a man, it follows that he also is lying; but if he is lying because every man is a liar, his lying is of a different sort.” –The Homilies of Saint Jerome, Volume I

Excess of everything is bad, including excess of moderation.

“There was only one catch and that was Catch-22, which specified that a concern for one’s own safety in the face of dangers that were real and immediate was the process of a rational mind.”

There is always someone in a crowd such that if that person dies in a suicide attack, then the entire crowd will die in a suicide attack. This is a theorem of predicate logic. If everyone in a crowd dies in a suicide attack, then it can be said about any particular person, that if that particular person would be dead, then everyone would be dead. Otherwise, at least one of them would survive. For any survivor, this statement is formally true that if they were dead, then everyone would be dead.

A death row convict was told on Sunday that he will be hanged on one of the weekdays, but the hanging will be a surprise. The surprise will not be revealed until someone knocks at his door at noon on the day of his hanging. The prisoner concludes that he will not be hanged on Friday, since if he is not hanged by Thursday, there will be only one day left, and the hanging will not be a surprise. The hanging cannot also occur on Thursday, because Friday has been eliminated, and he would know after Wednesday noon if he will be hanged on Thursday, hence it won’t be a surprise. By similar logic, he concludes that since Friday and Thursday have been eliminated, his hanging on Wednesday cannot be a surprise, and is therefore not possible. Now, since Wednesday has also been eliminated, he cannot be hanged on Tuesday, because that won’t be a surprise. And now that Tuesday is eliminated, Monday is the only day left, and his hanging on Monday won’t be a surprise. He thus concludes that he will not be hanged. But the executioner did knock at his door on Wednesday noon, and hanged him. He was surprised. The judge was right all along.

The next sentence in this article (which is not an article) is true.

The previous sentence in this article (which is not an article) is false