Let's not make depression a taboo

Bad luck happens, loved ones leave!

“Your personal problems need personal attention not social attention”, we often come across this post on social media. Moreover, we often hear these statements:

“Wear smiling face in the public, do not bring shame to us by portraying yourself as if you are going through some hell” or “Do not public your sorrows” or “Do not tell the world that you are broken inside. Tell them you are strong”. (Suggesting us to wear fake mask all the time just for the damn world.)

We often hear the worse like: “Do not try to win the sympathies of other people”.

Some friends would suggest, “Make yourself busy and you will be okay”. (As if staying busy switches off one’s thinking abilities) or other times in a mocking way people would say, “Depression is the disease of upper class of the society, you have elite class issues”.

(Well, according to Maslow 'Hierarchy of Needs' theory only after the fulfilment of basic biological and physiological needs one pursue for psychological needs. Although I disagree with this opinion, depression does not belong to any sort of socio-economic class.)

In addition to this if you are talking to some religious person he/she would say, “I guess you do not offer prayer regularly. Start offering prayer you will be fine.”

(And if you tell him/her that you regularly offer prayers as well as read Quran. He/she would shockingly look at your face and will doubt your intentions of prayers.)

Sharing joyful photos determines how well a person is carrying herself/himself but as soon as one shares a sad story... Boom! She/he is very emotional she should not share such stuff at all.

Maintain a composed posture in public is appreciable but if due to sheer painful issue she/he cries in the public.... Oh! She/he cannot control herself she/he is so weak.

Why have we made depression a taboo? Why don’t we allow people to express themselves if they want to? Why don’t we ask them to share their sorrows just as their joy? Why have we made it mandatory to stay strong all the time? Why are we not allowed to be who we want?

Instead of reinforcing these so-called social norms by giving them frivolous suggestions, tell the truth to people that pain is inevitable in the journey of life. Bad luck happens, loved ones leave. Efforts may bring undesired outcomes and most importantly human beings do not possess complete control over their lives. And if you see them tired of life, do hear them and wipe their tears and ask them to evolve from pain and face the brazen realities of life. And the least you can do is stop labelling people and passing judgements on their behaviour.  

Here is my suggestion for those who are fighting their battles, “Face and accept the Reality of life.”

Fellows you just have to learn how to deal with such crisis instead of pretending to be okay. It is a proven fact that hiding is more painful than the actual wound. Just remember that things will get better only if your approach is solution-oriented and only you can work on yourself. If you want to cry, cry as many times as you want and focus on yourself. On a lighter side, block those who disturb your peace of mind on social media as well as in daily life. One day when you will achieve peace from within then try to make peace with the surroundings.

More power to all!

The writer is passionate about art, culture, politics and communication. She is an M Phil scholar at Institute of Communication Studies from Punjab University.

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