Considering the atrocities committed on the poor husbands by the bullying wives, Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Husbands (SPCH) was established sometime back to counter the malicious campaign by some NGO’s to only highlight the sufferings of the women while ignoring the remaining fifty percent of the male population which is suffering silently in every home with no representation in the women’s dominated society. The bleeding husbands have nowhere to go except to hide their pain and be killed bit by bit with every passing day. As Alice Munro, the winner of Nobel Prize in Literature, 2013 writes “Every turn is like a shearing-off of what’s left of my life”

Coming back to the fate of SPCH, within a span of few months, the membership of the society grew to such a level that it could only be managed by a separate independent government organization. However the fate of the Society was sealed when few wives in the disguise of reporters requested to attend the proceedings as silent observers. Their silence was converted into verbal and physical attack half way through the session where the poor husbands were narrating their traumas. Since then, the assaulted husbands have neither been traced nor seen on this planet. Prayers for the “departed” souls who laid down their lives defending a cause; the real “Shaheeds”, I must say.

If you’re a man in an abusive relationship (or married, one and the same thing), it’s important to know that you’re not alone as it happens to men from all cultures and all walks of life; a common attribute. The abuse of husbands is not a recent phenomenon. In the 18th century France, a husband “was made to wear an outlandish outfit and ride backwards around the village on a donkey” After the incidence, the rental price of donkey touched astronomical heights with queues of married women seen for miles just to get the services of the respected donkey for few hours.

An abusive wife may hit, kick, bite, punch, spit, throw things, or destroy your possessions however domestic abuse is not limited to physical violence. Verbal abuses, belittling, humiliating in front of friends, colleagues or family are few other instruments of repression. Harassment with accusations of being unfaithful or threatening to leave you and prevent you from seeing your kids are just few of the tactics employed by the liberal enlightened women.

There is another category of women who dominate their husbands through their words, looks, and other threatening actions. They may boss their husbands around, talk down to them, call them humiliating names or treat them in a very emasculating way. What most wives want is a creature not there to think or share an opinion but there to do, not only what she tells him to do, but also how and when she wants it done. This is a form of dictatorship at its worst.

According to the available figures, one in three victims of domestic violence is male. According to the research conducted (dated: 28/06/2013) by U.S. Department of Justice (Bureau of Justice Statistics) on Victims of Domestic Violence, domestic violence incidents per year stand at 960,000 with suffering men accounting for 15% of the sample. Assaults on men represent more than 40% of domestic violence in the UK as per the study conducted by men’s rights campaign group “Parity”. It is widely said in UK that the maximum rights in the society are enjoyed by women, then the children followed by the animals and finally the husbands. Painful but true.

With so many NGO’s cropping up every day, it is ironic to note that not even a single NGO has directed its attention to the fifty percent of the population which is suffering because of the insensitivity of the society at large. Most women tend to consider their marriage as a workshop where the husband “works” while the she “shops”. The moment he wakes up and till the time he goes to bed, the onslaught continues with a ravishing force and ferocity. This is a global phenomenon witnessed in every corner of the world.

What the husbands in our part of the world do not understand is that one’s dignity may be assaulted, vandalized and cruelly mocked, but it can never be taken away unless it is surrendered. Remember, at the end of your life, you will never regret not having passed one more test, not winning one more verdict or not closing one more deal. You will regret the time spent with your spouse. Every husband has a choice to make, else, as the Chinese proverb goes “When I die, bury me standing, because I’ve spent all my life on my knees.”  

n    The writer is a PhD in Information Technology, alumni of King’s College London and a social activist. He has authored two books titled Understanding Telecommunications and Living in the Grave. The writer prefers to avoid human interaction and finds peace & happiness being alone, in silence with his own self.